Spice Banned! Curry Houses Collapse!

Spice is Banned

Right, that’s it. No more Spice for you, you dirty, filthy criminals. No more will you bring shame upon our great nation and all its Health & Safety departments, quangos, Advisory Councils and fine, upstanding politicians who only ever have the interests of the people in mind. Woe on you, ye fiends of fallacious fun.

The Home Secretary Alan Johnson says he is acting on advice from the Government’s Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs (ACMD). One assumes this advice did not come from Professor Nutt, the former chairman of the ACMD, whom Johnson recently sacked for using his superior insight and knowledge to disagree with the replacement Home Secretary on the relative dangers of cannabis.

Jacqui Smith’s substitute said: “Legal highs are an emerging threat, particularly to young people, and we have a duty to educate them about the dangers.”

Yes, you ‘young people’ – let the Home Secretary educate you. Yes, that same Home Secretary who dismissed his chief advisor for having a far more educated opinion than him. Yes, that very same Home Secretary who only replaced the last one after she was caught having taxpayers pay for her husband’s pornography habit.

Pay attention, wear jeans and watch X-Factor. Don’t forget to vote for your favourite! Just as long as it’s the good-looking black girl, or the clean cut white lad with big teeth. He can hold a note, can’t he? Do not attempt to vote for anybody else or Alan Johnson will be round to educate you about how we do things in Britain. Alright? Good. Now stay in your homes.

They will now take away 5 years of your life for possessing Spice. But don't worry, just tell the judge you are a peadophile and he will probably let you off with a caution and a wink.
They will now take away 5 years of your life for possessing Spice. But don't worry, just tell the judge you are a peadophile and he will probably let you off with a caution and a wink.

 

 

14 thoughts on “Spice Banned! Curry Houses Collapse!”

  1. What?!? :'(
    They’ll accept any advice related to drugs, as long as it is to ban them.

    Damn mobile internet…

  2. lol. pretty sure the origional advice from the ACMD went along the lines of; “don’t ban it, and whilst you’re at it unban weed”… our gov suck penis.

  3. thanks government for the nice xmas pressie lol

    mant thanks Edit for the freebie arrived this morning .nice one.

    And happy winter solstice to you all.

  4. If drugs are such a threat to the government how come opium production in afghanistan has gone up year by year since we invaded when it was banned under the taliban and actively being cracked down on.

  5. Bloody bastard politicians :@ I rather liked Spice.

    Anyone know exactly what has been banned? Is it just Spice or all incense blends? And aside from the obvious of going back to the real stuff (which I’d rather not do) anyone got any suggestions of what I can puff on now?

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