Win A RooR! A bloody RooR! Roar!!!
DRAW UPDATE: Yo everybody, got lots to do today as it’s catch-up time after the bank holiday yesterday, but I will be going through all the entries and gathering all the different requirements together. Once I have determined how many entrants we have via Requirements 1, 2 and 3, I will then be able to fill out the draw with the best joke entrants according to me and the mood I am in when I read them.
RESULT ANNOUNCEMENT EXPECTED ON:
Thursday, May 7th, Afternoon o’clock
Preview your potential prize!
Here’s the thing, we’re surrounded by these beauties all day, every day. I have one, of course, a lovely one at that, and maybe a few others, they’re nice too, but I have no pressing desire to fill the entirety of my home with them in the manner that my workplace is. So please, enter this competition and help me clear some clutter from my desk.
This particular Roor has a slight blemish on the first O of the logo, plus there is a very small chip on the outer rim of the joint (barely visible and will not affect performance). I don’t think the chip happened here as it is very smooth and possibly flamed so. Thought it best to warn you though. The Black Logo diffuser that comes with it should more than make up for it.
This German-made Big Brother Roor Bong was originally intended to be given away in a Big Brother style competition on the old forum where two ‘houses’ of forum members competed with and against each other by posting a whole load of different items and it would have ultimately been down to everybody else to determine who they thought deserved it the most. Unfortunately that all went down the pan when the forum went down there too. (If any of you are still out there, see Requirement #1.) I managed to clutch the prize itself just as it was about to swoosh up the u-bend and I’ve given it a dab with the tea-towel.
So who wants it? Better check you meet what I’m calling “the requirements”. I would point out where “the requirements” are but it is beneath me.
To win this 5mm, 45cm Roor Little Sista Ice, you must fulfill one of the four following Requirements:
1. You are a former EDIT forum member who was entered in the Big Brother house (to win this very same Big Brother Roor) just before the collapse of the known universe. Email firstname.lastname@example.org and reveal yourself whilst declaring you’re still up for a shot at it and your name will go in the final draw (you don’t have to be entered under your original EDIT name, though I would appreciate a comment posted on this page so everyone knows I’m not just making things up if you should win.)
2. Send a picture of your glass or pipe collection with an EDIT wristband in the picture to the email@example.com address and this will automatically qualify you for the final winner-deciding draw. In the event of everybody doing this, the earliest sent will be accepted until the quota is full (minus former forum members who were in the two BB houses, who are entitled to be entered – see #1). You must leave a comment on this page to signal your entry in this manner (helps me keep an eye on how many are entering).
3. Requirement #3 is something of a thank-you to our customers. You can be entered for the draw if you have placed three or more orders with us (or spent a very high amount in one), which we can check with your email address or order numbers. However, one of those orders must include some glass, no matter how tiny. Just post a comment on this page requesting we check for you and if you score enough, you will be entered. In the event of too many people entering this way, I think it’s fair that those who have spent the most with us, or at least the most regularly or the most on glassware, should go through, and thus it will be as judged by me.
4. If none of the above are achievable by your good selves over this weekend, then you can simply post a comment on this page which includes a joke. The best jokes will pad out the draw that the first three requirements do not fill, for there are a set number of places in the final draw if my Plan A goes without hitch. What befits a ‘best joke’ will likely be determined by the mood I’m in when it comes to the reading. I will say only this, extra points go to jokes I haven’t heard before. It is a risky option as the final places may be all or mostly used up, thus only a handful of the very best jokes will get through.
Extra Information I’m Only Just Thinking Of Now :
· This will last for at least the entirety of this coming weekend, maybe a day or two longer if not many people have been interested by Monday. Got a feeling there might be one or two interested though.
· The result and the deciding of that result will be filmed and posted so you can judge for yourselves if it was fixed, which it won’t be. I’ve got an idea of how to do it as well. I’m calling it “Plan A”.
· You have my word – that is, the word of he who is writing this very sentence, not a faceless corporate word that means as much as a poo in a field full of cows, that all who are entered in this draw have an equal chance of winning.